The other day, I read a blog post discussing labels and how the writer preferred that people didn't (or wouldn't) call her daughter shy.
You know what my first reaction was? Besides jealousy that her post was published and I can't seem to get any of mine written, let alone accepted.
WHY? What is wrong with shy? I was shy as a kid. I was polite, but I didn't warm up to people immediately. I am still that way today. Put me in a party where I know one person, and I will be the weird woman following her friend around or standing awkwardly near the snack table, trying to make conversation about carrots. According to the dictionary, shy means: "bashful, retiring, wary, timid, or reluctant." Why would it matter if someone is reluctant or wary around strangers? There is NOTHING wrong with that.
Now, I still feel the same way. I have a shy daughter. She is reserved around new people. She doesn't like loud people, or people who get up in her face (although, who does?) . And I don't want her to feel like that's a bad thing. It's OKAY to be a little timid. To not immediately be a part of things. It's okay to just be you and get the lay of the land before jumping in and talking or interacting with people. It is just fine to not be instant friends - or even pretend to be instant friends - with people you just met or haven't seen for awhile. I want her to be PROUD of herself, and that includes how she acts around others. As long as she is polite, even quietly, she is free to stay near me or others she is comfortable with and figure out the situation. To slowly warm up and go at things at her own pace.
She is wonderful just how she is and I don't care if you label her shy. She IS shy. And there is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with that. This world is full of plenty of extroverted people. We need the shy people, the thinkers, the ones who are slow to warm up but when they do, they are your friends forever.
