My Mother-In-Law is Not a Monster...

I am going to make many people jealous when I write this post. But I have, a *gasp* NICE mother in law. She sends me cards and coupons for diapers nearly every week - meaning, she THINKS about me and how I always need coupons for diapers. She happily provides me with coffee and chocolate whenever we visit - which isn't often enough, since we live three states away.

I should really tell you - my own mother died when I was a teenager. I can't share my children's lives with her or ask her questions. But I am lucky enough to have a mother-in-law (and a stepmother), with whom I can share my children. We try to call them as much as possible. The kids send letters and drawings. I am happy to unload some of our artwork on the grandparents (and anyone who says they don't is lying!).

When my husband and I, fairly newly married, moved back to our home state, she welcomed us with open arms and we lived with our in-laws for a year. I was pregnant for almost half of that time. When I was pregnant, she provided me with whatever cravings I had - if she went to the store, I was sure to get a treat: a yogurt parfait. Apples (because OMG did I crave apples). Ice cream. Decaf coffee. Gummy bears. No matter what I made for dinner, it was delicious (I am not that good of a cook, believe me).

She was there at the hospital the day after I had my first baby. This was with our permission and blessing, because she very emphatically said she didn't want to "impose."She was the first person we visited after getting cabin fever with our newborn, and she made sure I sat down and rested while she held her new granddaughter.

Are you jealous yet?

If not, this next part might do it. When she talks with my husband, she tells him that I am a good mother! She says this with no bribery or inducements from her son. And when she writes me notes, she tells me I have beautiful children and I am doing a good job. My mother in law knows that people always blame the mother.

Kids acting up in the store - the mom clearly doesn't discipline them
Baby not sleeping through the night yet - well, the mom must be doing something wrong. Should have tried: acupuncture, chiropractic, not swaddling/swadding, rocking/not rocking....
Nursing stopped before 2: Why would you deprive your baby of all of those benefits?!
Still nursing your toddler: What is wrong with you? You need to cut them off before they become too dependent and are still nursing in graduate school!

And the big one for me...
Your 3 year old has a speech delay and isn't talking at the same developmental level as kids her age.
Well, you clearly did something wrong. You need to try.....

Not to my mother in law. To my mother in law, I am a GOOD mom. And it makes a world of difference to me to hear her say that. I can feel like the most rotten mother in the world, but I know just looking at one of her notes, or hearing her say that will help me rise to the occasion and try to be better. To be the mom she already thinks/knows, I am.

Thanks Mother in Law! You are rare indeed.